Thursday, July 15, 2010

"Special" People of Texas

I finally decided this week to get my Texas driver's license--I generally put this kind of thing off until the last possible moment due to my overwhelming hatred of standing in line at the DMV.  Truth be told, I lived in Colorado for more than two years and never bothered to get rid of my California driver's license.

Two things have convinced me to "upgrade" my license, however: 1) the raised eyebrows I get at bars and would probably get from a cop if I were to be pulled over, and 2) the comment I got from the Department of Homeland Security employee the last time I traveled by air.  ("You are going to update this soon, right?"  "Yes, I am.  Please don't strip search me.")

My point, however, is this: take a look at the advertisement they have on the back of the Texas Driver's Manual.  Does anyone else automatically read the first sentence in a very sarcastic inner voice?

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Proverbial Rock and Hard Place

From the CNN website.  Gah.

Let's Talk About Humidity

It's gross.  It makes you sweaty and builds a dependence on air conditioning.  Apparently it will make your skin look ten years younger, but I don't really think the trade-off is worth it if it makes me wish I were dead every single morning.  Plus, I don't really want to look 14--been there, done that.

Anyway, if you can steer clear of places that, unlike Houston, TX, have humidity, I'd suggest you do so. 

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Early Bird Gets Disappointed

I was out and about early yesterday (which for me on a Sunday means 10:30) and found a number of Houston retail locations that had not yet opened.  Speaking as a former retail worker in California, I had to be at work at 8am to open at 9am on Sundays, which sometimes put a crimp on my weekend plans. 

The only logical explanation I can come up with is that Texas retailer expect shoppers to be at church on Sunday mornings, not bowing to the commercial gods of a capitalist market.  Speaking as a non-church-attending citizen, it was quite, quite annoying.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

The Eyes of Texas

I see this sign at least twice a day and every time I do it kind of cracks me up.  It's not unlike those "Neighborhood Watch" signs that are so prevalent everywhere else I've lived, but for some reason it seems funnier. 

By the way, if you can't read it in my photo, it says, "THE EYES OF TEXAS ARE UPON YOU.  Cellular Phone Users: Please Call 911 to Report Criminal Activities or Emergencies."  Hee.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Aw, Houston's First Prius!

Photographic evidence that Houston does, in fact, have environmentally-concious people other than yours truly. Of course, the fact that this is the first Prius I've seen since moving here from Denver, where every other car is a hybrid, does say something about the culture in general.

(By the way, I don't actually think hybrids are a good idea--I've heard far too many bad things about their batteries to think that throwing them in landfills is better than the alternative, but still.)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Texan Quotation of the Day

Before you ask, yes, this is almost word-for-word:
Texan: "So how many guns do you have?"
Me: [Sure I didn't hear correctly.]  "... I'm sorry?"
Texan: "I said, how many guns do you have?"
Me: "Oh. A better question would be how many times I've even fired a gun."
Texan: "How many times have you fired a gun?"
Me: "None.  Ever."
Texan: [Sure he didn't hear correctly.] "What?"
Me: "Yeah, I don't really... believe in guns."
Texan: "WHAT?"