Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Thing That Should Not Be

(Warning: The following is extremely unpleasant.  Read at your own risk.)

Driving in to work yesterday, there was a discussion of the problem of people finding cockroaches--in their shoes.  With their bare feet.  And the presence of the roaches were made known by the crunching sound their exo-skeletons made.

Now, I don't know about you, but I really hate insects of the non-ladybug variety.  Roaches take the cake as far as huge, disgusting insects that can't be killed go.  Therefore, in the hours since hearing that discussion, I have developed a new plan of attack regarding putting on shoes:
  1. I will check all shoes for cockroaches before putting my feet in them.
  2. I will not check with my bare hand, as finding a roach with my fingers would probably be worse than crushing it with my foot.
  3. I will bang all shoes on the floor and if a hissing sound emeges, I will flush the contents of the shoe down the toilet. 
  4. I will not consider this animal cruelty and do not care if you do.
While I kind of wish I had never even heard about this problem, I am glad to know that, courtesy of my new shoe-donning policy, I will never join the list of people who have encountered the problem first-hand... or first-foot, as it were.


  1. When my brother was in first grade he put on shoes that had been in the garage without checking them first and had a blue big toe for about a week because a stink bug had been half squished by that toe. We got in the habit of throwing our shoes on the ground a couple times before putting them one if we left them outside.

  2. I've heard that happens with stink bugs, actually! I have yet to do anything like that, and I'm very happy that's the case.