Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Proverbial Rock and Hard Place

From the CNN website.  Gah.

Let's Talk About Humidity

It's gross.  It makes you sweaty and builds a dependence on air conditioning.  Apparently it will make your skin look ten years younger, but I don't really think the trade-off is worth it if it makes me wish I were dead every single morning.  Plus, I don't really want to look 14--been there, done that.

Anyway, if you can steer clear of places that, unlike Houston, TX, have humidity, I'd suggest you do so. 

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Early Bird Gets Disappointed

I was out and about early yesterday (which for me on a Sunday means 10:30) and found a number of Houston retail locations that had not yet opened.  Speaking as a former retail worker in California, I had to be at work at 8am to open at 9am on Sundays, which sometimes put a crimp on my weekend plans. 

The only logical explanation I can come up with is that Texas retailer expect shoppers to be at church on Sunday mornings, not bowing to the commercial gods of a capitalist market.  Speaking as a non-church-attending citizen, it was quite, quite annoying.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

The Eyes of Texas


I see this sign at least twice a day and every time I do it kind of cracks me up.  It's not unlike those "Neighborhood Watch" signs that are so prevalent everywhere else I've lived, but for some reason it seems funnier. 

By the way, if you can't read it in my photo, it says, "THE EYES OF TEXAS ARE UPON YOU.  Cellular Phone Users: Please Call 911 to Report Criminal Activities or Emergencies."  Hee.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Aw, Houston's First Prius!

Photographic evidence that Houston does, in fact, have environmentally-concious people other than yours truly. Of course, the fact that this is the first Prius I've seen since moving here from Denver, where every other car is a hybrid, does say something about the culture in general.

(By the way, I don't actually think hybrids are a good idea--I've heard far too many bad things about their batteries to think that throwing them in landfills is better than the alternative, but still.)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Texan Quotation of the Day

Before you ask, yes, this is almost word-for-word:
Texan: "So how many guns do you have?"
Me: [Sure I didn't hear correctly.]  "... I'm sorry?"
Texan: "I said, how many guns do you have?"
Me: "Oh. A better question would be how many times I've even fired a gun."
Texan: "How many times have you fired a gun?"
Me: "None.  Ever."
Texan: [Sure he didn't hear correctly.] "What?"
Me: "Yeah, I don't really... believe in guns."
Texan: "WHAT?"

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I Defy You To Get Lost in Downtown Houston

Seriously, I think it's pretty much impossible. 

For those of you who don't know, I am the queen of U-turns, notorious across states for having no sense of direction, and I managed to find the downtown library--from the highway, following the a series of signs that said something along the lines of "Library ->".  I even managed to get back to the highway afterwards, following a series of signs that said something along the lines of "10 <-".

How cool is that?  I didn't even need google maps questionable assistance.

Woo! Party Boat!

Apparently there's a trend (of which I had never before heard) of Houstonians going to these things called party boats, which are essentially floating hotels that leave out of Galveston or a similar coastal area.  For a fairly reasonable flat rate, party boaters get transportation, a room for the night, and all they can eat and drink.  I've already been invited by two separate groups to go on one of these "party boats," so apparently it's a big thing around here.

Leaving aside the fact that one of te boats is called the "Spirit of Texas," do a Google Image search for "party boat" to see if it's my kind of scene.  I'll give you two guesses.

Monday, June 7, 2010

I Guess I'll Make One Less Donut Joke This Year

I was recently made aware that ticket quotas are illegal in the state of Texas.  Speaking as a lead foot, I have to say hearing this is something of a relief (read: completely awesome, and the first thing I've discovered that made me say, "Now Texas got that right!"). Being something of a cynic, I have to wonder if the police culture still "encourages" certain ticket numbers without "mandating" them.  Still, it gives me some hope for my future in the state.

On an unrelated note, I thought that the cowboy-hat-wearing law enforcement agent was only in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.  Guess I was wrong.

Watch Your Back in Waco

I didn't actually see this billboard but thought it was really funny when someone told me about it.  It's a billboard from Waco, TX, that was paid for by the Waco Police Association.  Apparently it was promptly covered up with something else when the city had a mass WTF

One thing I will say for Texas is this: the billboards are hilarious.  Seriously, I never really noticed them or heard about them in any of the other places I've lived.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Texans and Guns

"And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."
I was having a conversation the other day with several young men who were discussing their respective guns, one of whom was a bit put out that he didn't yet have any automatic weapons.  Somehow the topic of the last presidential election came up (and trust me when I say I neither brought it up nor mentioned that I campaigned for Obama) and the conversation went something like this:

Texan 1: "The first thing I did after the election was go to the gun store."
Me: [Silently choking.]
Texan 2: "Oh, I think we all did.  I had to wait in line behind a hundred people to get ammo."
Me: [Squirming and silently choking.]
Texan 1: "Well, we were all stocking up."
In their defense, they were not talking about stocking up on ammo to try to shoot the new president, but rather because they were afraid he was going to somehow change the second ammendment, but still.